I'm back. In the hospital that is. And I must admit that my attitude about it isn't nearly as pulled together as last time. Why? Because I will be here for the next 6 weeks. Maybe longer. Shorter? Doubtful, but you know how doctors like to give you a silver lining to things? Apparently that's mine. But my breath is NOT held.
I miss my house. I miss my fall decorations that Mom so laboriously put out. I miss my bed. I miss my candles and my oil burner. I miss my open windows. I miss the trees outside those windows. I miss people stopping by to hang out. I miss having everything I need, when I need it. I miss being able to take a shower every day as opposed to every OTHER day. Ew. And I miss my dog. Truly, this is the worst part. I miss Emma. I miss having her cuddled up next to me all day long. And I feel bad about bouncing her around from place to place so much over the past couple months. I mean, the dog is almost totally blind for goodness sake! Changes in location are not small things for her.
And I know that this is a safe (arguably the safest) place for the babies right now, but somehow that knowledge isn't helping so much. Why? Because there isn't much happening here that couldn't be done in my own home. Where I'm comfortable and with the people that I love. I'm not hooked up to any IVs (thank goodness), and I'm being monitored for an hour every shift for my contractions. Did you know you can actually get those monitors to use at home? And my insurance covers them! But I'm here, instead of home. And if I'm being brutally honest, I'm not happy about it.
I always try to end blog entries on a positive note, but I don't think I will this time. There are plenty of positive notes to be had, but right now I just want to vent and lament. Boohoo.