Riverside Hospital: Day 43 (Secret Thoughts)

I have some confessions to make. There are a few things that I really haven't shared with many people about what I invisioned for my first child(ren). I am typically NOT the type of person who plans things way in the future, especially when I know it's something I have very little control over. For example, I had no preconcieved notions about my wedding or even the man I would marry. Which turned out to be a good thing because I never would have invisioned a temple marriage growing up, and quite honestly, Eli was not my "type". But both of those things ended up being the very best for me.

So it is with babies. At least that's what I tried to tell myself everytime these thoughts would creep into my head. First, there's the twin factor. Most people don't expect to have more than one baby at a time. But I did! In fact, I was visiting with my cousin Jodi the other day who now has 7 year old twins. She asked if I remembered the first time I met them. Apparently I said to her, "I hope I will have twins some day." Haha! Be careful what you wish for I guess. But truly, the thought of twins is not frightening to me, and I just had a feeling it would happen. Which is probably why I laughed when Dr. Melillo first told us we were having two. I already knew that.

I also already knew our children's names! Eli and I would talk casually about names we liked ever since we were married. Olivia won it for the girls hands down. Charlie was the forerunner for boy names, though we did consider others for a little while once we were expecting.

Then there is the secret thought that creeps into my mind regarding the song above. "The Best Gift" by Barbara Streisand is on her Christmas Album. My favorite Christmas album by the way. Growing up I used to listen to it on the record player, so when I finally resorted to CD, I was stunned to find out that the real version doesn't crackle! But I digress. I just love this song, and everytime I would play it, I would think to myself, "I hope our first baby is born close to Christmas so this song can be special for our family." I used to fight this thought because I have heard all of the horror stories from those whose birthdays are either on Christmas or just a few days away. But here we are with a due date pending that will not only put them close enough to Christmas for this song to apply, but they are far enough away that their Birthdays shouldn't get lost in the hustle and bustle of the season.

There are more things that have occured in the years leading up to the birth of our children, but they are of a more sacred nature. So I will not include them here. But in small and big ways, the Lord has given us an opportunity to get to know and bond with these precious spirits that will be our children. And one thing is for sure...these are our Best Gifts.