The following is stolen from my friend Abbey Niebel. She is due to have her baby in 30 days! And as an experienced pregnant woman, she had some helpful tips to offer those who have a preggers in their life. I thought it was great advice and it really made me laugh. Here are her "Top 10 Ways to Make a Pregnant Lady Angry". Abbey's responses are in regular font, and I have added my own comments or amendments in italics at the end of each item.
10. It's a shame that such young girls are getting pregnant these days. There are several variations to this comment, and I've had a few. This is partially due to the fact that I look like a pregnant 5th-grader (I'll appreciate my youthful looks when I'm 40, I think). This is also partially due to the fact that people are not smart. Seriously. Take a look at my left hand. I'm married. And my age is none of your business. But just to get you off my back, I'm almost 25 and have been married for 3 years. Plenty old enough to be starting a family, in my opinion. (I'm almost 26 and have been married for 4 years...that's even worse!)
9. You'll need practice for when that baby comes. Spoken mostly by other parents, this comment really pisses me off. Obviously, I have no idea what I'm doing. I get that. But, do I want to practice on your child? Absolutely not. Especially since your child is the one screaming/throwing a fit/running down the hallway. (In my case, I actually like to think I have SOME idea of what is coming my way. After all, I have worked with infants for a few years now. Do I know everything? No way. But I can change a diaper thank you very much.)
8. Your life is going to change once that baby (those babies) comes! What?!?! You're kidding me! A newborn is going to change my schedule a little? I'm shocked, really shocked. I might be a first-time mom, but I'm not an idiot. That being said, I can guarantee you that I'll still be going out to eat, watching my TV shows, and taking the occasional nap. I do have a husband (see #10). (And loving parents and in-laws who are willing to lend hand.)
7. You've got way too much stuff for (these babies). I really just don't understand this comment. First of all, what is it that I'm not going to use? The carseat? Maybe the stroller? Perhaps the diapers? Or, maybe the crib. Second, who cares if I've got a lot of stuff? We've had a long, hard road to parenthood, and I'm excited to welcome this baby into our family. If that means I have "overprepared", then so be it. You ought to be excited for us, too.
6. Your feet are really swollen! Really? Because I hadn't noticed the throbbing pain every time I take a step (or just stand up). Also, I hadn't noticed that NONE of my shoes fit. But thank you so much for telling me! (Haven't reached this point yet, but I've no doubt the time will come. I swell at the tiniest rise in temperature anyway.)
5. You're about ready to pop! Closely related to #1, this deserves its own section. In church on Sunday TEN different people said this to me. Ten! Really, people, I'm NOT ready to pop. First of all, I've still got 5 weeks to go. Second, that's just another way of saying "you're fat". (Not to mention it makes us sound like bubbles floating around. I'm a person people!)
4. What is the baby's name? This question in and of itself isn't annoying at all. I really don't mind when people ask me. What I do mind, though, is when people continue to pester me after I tell them that we don't have one picked out yet. Honestly, we don't have a name, and you standing here asking me repeatedly isn't going to change that. (this probably won't be an issue for us as we are fairly set on what we like. But please be sensitive to those who are not so sure.)
3. I never got THAT big with my babies! Well, good for you! I, however, am this big with my baby. Have you looked at my body type? I am barely 5'3" and am pretty short-waisted. Where do you think this baby is going to hide? In addition to that, my baby is growing in my arms, face, thighs, and rear end. But thanks for pointing out that you were never as big as me. (Were you pregnant with twins?)
2. Whoa! Are there two in there? No, actually, I'm just very large. But thanks for bringing that to my attention. (Well...yes actually. But if anyone even jokes about triplets, beware the wrath!)
1. Haven't you had those babies yet? Hmmm...is that a real question? Because isn't it obvious by looking?
Consider yourselves forewarned! :)
Consider yourselves forewarned! :)