Monday, June 9, 2008

$9 Hand Soap

Nine Dollar Hand Soap
By: Eli Bowman

Nine dollar hand soap,
can you imagine such a thing?
All you do is lather and rinse
and get it under your rings.

What I'm about to say is tragic
and depressing, but I think
that I see it resting snobbishly
on top of our bathroom sink.

It smells kind of flowery
with a touch of aloe vera.
It has some tea leaf undertones
and a hint of fresh wisteria.

Performance is mediocre,
merely average at its best.
I just can't see how it possibly
could be that much better than the rest.

Who would buy such a thing?
I guess us and us alone.
Nine dollars is outrageous...
you practically need a loan!

I knew we shouldn't get it,
should have walked right out the door.
Good thing we can read "clearance",
it only cost us $2.94.

6 comments:

Stephanie Jette said...

I love this...you should enter it into a contest. To funny!!

katzbox said...

Well...you're doing it...you two are morphing...I really don't know who wrote this...Abby?...Eli?....it's a great entry and I simply don't know who wrote it....YOU ARE BEING ASSIMILATED...by one another apparently....cute....you had me all the way to the end...

katzbox said...

Oh, sorry...I just read the author's name at the top...ELI!!!!!!. Well done son...well done!!!!!

The Slusser Family said...

Funny, Eli. . .very funny.

katzbox said...

I read this every day...it makes me laugh every single time...and I swell with pride...nay, "take great pleasure in"..or whatever the spiritually-correct phrase is...yeesh, I've forgotten....I'm bad...but, you're good...VERY good at writing clever and tricky poetry...please consider writing children's poetry to introduce baby bow to the world...please...

NancyMom said...

i have some fancy dish soap, too
it cost me fourteen ninety-two
i should have waited for the sale
but i was oh-so-dirty
if i had been a cleaner gal
i could have gotten it for thirty
(cents).

:)

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