Mothering

So, this whole "mothering" thing? Yeah. It's kinda hard. Impossible really. Impossible to do it perfectly. And I'll tell you what. No matter how much you think that my having a background in Early Childhood Development, or a mother who is a Social Worker, might help me...it's really more of a curse. Because I understand the perfection. I understand what I'm striving for, and all the while I get a front row seat to every single one of my failures. And I worry, every moment of every day, about the affect my choices and actions have on my children. But once they are old enough to really tell me how I'm affecting them, I won't be able to take back all of the things I've done wrong. 

I don't get to church often because 1, 2, 3...5 kids are sick. Or I'm sick. Or the babies didn't get a morning nap because the big kids woke them up after 15 minutes and so they need one in the afternoon and church is at 1:00. And Eli has a calling that requires his church attendance, so I'm the one who stays home. And therefore, I miss out on that spiritual uplift every week. I am drained in every conceivable way.

So HOW. IN. THE. WORLD. do I survive? Because most days I think to myself, "There is NO way I'm making it another 18 years." (Or beyond. We all know it doesn't stop when the kids leave the house.) How do I do it? I do it with help. Yes. Eli is wonderful. But he's not enough. (Sorry Hon!) I need someone else. I need my Heavenly Father.

I am GRATEFUL He is there.